It's ok. Stay so far, so far away.
I'll be going, I'm going, I'll be going. I turn away, you come closer. I come near near, you turn your gaze. I got lost in the wearisome haze.
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I love the piles in my room and
the piles in my head. I get to things when I need to. No distance ever broke me. No silence ever killed me. What a mess, what a mess, I tend to love it. Your gaze – attentive, soft, intense.
Your touch – curious, present, steady. Your heart – open, ready, reaching. All gone. Fade to nothing. The birds don't sing anymore. I'm falling in on myself.
It's all twisted, gnarled winds. But the sun is pressing at my back. And there's a warmth within. Don't I always leave me here? And come back to meet again? Let it in, let it in, let it in. It's trouble, and it's glowing. My grief is not my aggressor's gain,
not my dignity's death. My grief is a crucial part of my imminent upheaval, my inevitable provocation. My grief is fuel, the life-blood of my unforgiving, endlessly deepening obligation to transform cruelty into the divine. I'm an idiot. I often hate myself.
I say no when I mean yes. I say yes when I mean HELL NO. I downplay and ignore the good, I ruminate on everything else. I'm learning how to turn this ship around. I am a fortress, a castle made for movement. I am steadfast, yet soft, ever flowing. I'm done ignoring praise, I'm the one shouting from the rooftops I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH I AM BEYOND MAGNIFICENT I AM ENDLESSLY EFFECTIVE I AM FIERCELY RELEVANT and you puny haters, insignificant doubters can take a seat. You are meaningless, irrelevant, obliterated. I'll readjust, I'll change my pace,
But slowness is a patience race. You'll side-step me, you'll challenge me, But dancing is a part of me. Wrap the tender, vibrant lights around
My broken bones, aching wounds Fill my soul with knowns, unknowns, Tensions, understanding, peace. Be grateful, feel the oneness. We are all together Never separate, only by illusion. Always united, rarely seen as such. Together, together, together We are, we exist, we be, we are. We. I don't want you
anymore. I forget you, I am more without you. I am free , loved . that song is not about you. you do not exist. You fraud you fool Now go. Doesn't it all look so good,
laid out on the table? Or did we harsh the purity of love's righteous beginning? I never knew I'd miss the street where I ran you out of my mind. |
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January 2018
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